FishDreamer scribbles, one page at a time

Friday, 9 January 2004

Sleep All Day

So it's Friday, I had a CT scan this morning and it went just fine. I should have one more, next January, and then be done. I go in Monday to hear the results and get my blood tested and everything. In the meantime, I came home and ate toast with sliced hardboiled egg. I (ahem) crapped my guts out, and then I had another round of toast and hardboiled egg. And then I went to sleep for five hours.

The test went fine. They have a new machine, it was very smooth and easy. The contrast and the injection were as unpleasant as always, but the worst part was the gas. On the drive back home, my digestive innards were so distended and painful I was afraid of a rupture. I didn't have to stop, but several times I had to arch my back in an attempt to alleviate the pain.

The worst part was that I could feel it moving. I didn't have as much of the sandpaper feeling this time, except when I got hungry, but that gas. Oh my heavens. I got home, dropped everything right inside the door, and headed straight for the bathroom. Relief! It took a while, but it was fairly easy (disgusting, but easy) and then it was over.

I ate, and checked my email, and read some stuff. And then I was hungry and thirsty, so I had two more pints of water and a second round of breakfast, and got really tired.

That seems to be pretty standard for CT days. Eat, drink, and sleep. I didn't expect to sleep until 3:30, but I must have needed it. And I feel mostly fine now, so it worked. This is why I take a sick day from work, because truly my body is recovering from being poisoned and I need to just do what it needs.

And now it's Friday night. The Dean Campaign met the challenge and raised $700K by midnight, but now they've upped the challenge as a thank you to Tom Harkin for the endorsement.

I am getting so excited about the whole thing. I know all the attacks from both sides are hurting, but they're also helping. Because all it proves is how scared everyone is of what Dean is doing. Taking back the party and our country on behalf of the people, instead of the special interests. It's unbelievable how clear all of that is.

I visited John Kerry's page again, to hear him talk about how Dean wants to raise taxes on the middle class. All this proves to me is that Kerry is playing to the lowest common denominator, the non-voter who doesn't read past the headlines. Because everything Dean (and, to be fair, Dick Gephardt) is saying about the tax cuts is true. I didn't see a break. I pay more. I pay for all the services the state has to offer, and now I pay more for all of that. My property tax, my auto registration, my sales tax, all the little fees and expenses to maintaining a home, all of that has gone up.

My federal income tax? As half of a dual income no kids couple, I pay extra. The federal government doesn't care that I had cancer and therefore I can't actually have kids. I could always adopt, right? I could take in someone else's kids, and then my taxes would go down. But that's because my actual expenses would go up.

The tax cuts enacted by the current administration have raised the cost of living for me. I don't get anything extra back. And that is what Dean is talking about.

For an explanation written better than I can, go here. I love Value Judgment, everything I see there is written so clearly and concisely. It's how I like to think I would express myself if my thought processes weren't so intuitive.

Am I so unusual, in that I look for the motive and the subtext in what's being written? I wonder why a particular source (online, blogger, media, whatever) is saying something. Does Kerry really think that little of the American people? Is he right? I keep hearing that Dean supporters are the liberal elite (and I kind of qualify, kind of, although I wouldn't put myself in either category), and that we read more and actually think about things instead of accepting what we're told. I really hate to think that this is completely unusual here. Tell me I'm wrong!

I don't think I've ever felt as deeply that what is happening now is wrong. I've never been this motivated by a candidate before. It is, to an extent, true that Dean is bringing the disaffected back to politics. That's what he said he was doing - he keeps saying the people have the power. And we do. We just don't quite know how to use it, or how to take it back from the hands of those who would rather we sit complacent and somnolent on the sidelines and let them make our decisions for us.

I haven't always had pure motives for voting for particular candidates. Sometimes I go in and vote for the women, or vote for the ones with non-white sounding names. Or the Libertarians. The only information I get on some candidates (Port Commissioners, for example, or city judge candidates) comes from the voter pamphlet. I have not always done my research. I voted for candidates because I'd met them, or I knew someone who worked for them. (I did work in politics for a while, after all.) But the key component to all of this is that I voted. I always voted, no matter how small the election. I've worked the polls before. I tried my hand at doorbelling and phone calling (I totally sucked).

The more people get involved, the more the process and the result reflects more closely who we are and what we believe in. I don't expect everyone to agree with me all the time. I never have. Some things I don't talk about with people who think differently (reproductive freedom is the biggest one of those), but mostly I'm willing to listen. And explain, when someone wants to hear it. But YOU have to be involved. YOU have to vote. We all do. Opting out is not an option in my book. That's the coward's way. If you really truly don't think any of the candidates are worthy, then either recruit someone or run your own damn self.

No, I'm not kidding. I personally would absolutely hate to run for office, but Mr D wants to. I'm sure he will, at some point. Not sure how I'll handle it, but I completely support that he thinks it's important enough to step up and do it himself.

I don't know. Some days I get the fire in my belly, some days I get scared, some days I just want to sleep. This was a sleepy day, and it's becoming one again. I'm planning to visit the campaign office soon. I've emailed two separate parts of the Washington Dean people to get involved and not heard back yet, which just tells me they're horribly busy. So I will go and do, instead of reading and thinking here by myself in my basement.

I suggest you find yourself a candidate or a cause or a charity, and do the same. That's one of the best ways (aside from parenting) for any of us to leave the world better than we found it.

If you want to: contact
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