FishDreamer scribbles: It ain't over yet.

Saturday, 27 March 2004

Spring is Sprung

I promised I'd tell you when it happened, so here you go: as of this morning, I weigh 179 lbs. For some reason, this isn't as exciting as I thought it would be after nine months of waiting. I'm happy about it, but it's more like I'm satisfied that things are working than being ecstatic about breaking through the barrier. Woo. I weight under 180, finally.

I'm sorry it's been an entire week since I last wrote. Work has been completely kicking my ass this week, and I am tired and irritable. Mr D has this habit of clicking his mouse wheel all the time while he's reading, and right now that is the most annoying thing I've ever had to deal with. (Not his fault, it's my agitation and I'm dealing with it as best I can.) Work has been full of drama and busy-ness, and I have just gotten to the point where I can't take it anymore. I put my headphones on the minute I get there, and I am as friendly and helpful as I can be, but when I get home I want nothing more than to read, and any little noise distracts me.

Later... We went for a hike in the woods, on the other part of the trail where I usually run. It was great. No one out there, once we got past the beginning part. I ran a little bit, because I can and because being in the woods makes me want to. I laughed with pleasure about it, too. Woods and running somehow just makes me happy. And I felt tons better afterwards. We were out there for over an hour, and I came home feeling fine. No more twitchy, no more irritation. We called on the way and got our usual Friday pizza, and went browsing at the liquor store while we waited for it.

I wish alcohol didn't have all the baggage, because honestly I just love a really good drink. I don't drink to get drunk, and I don't (usually) drink to unwind or to get over social nerves. I drink because I like the taste. I'd be lying if I said I didn't like the feeling I get after a drink or two, but more than that and it no longer feels any good.

It's not that I don't like other things too, but I'm sitting here wanting a manhattan as made by my dad, and I just know I shouldn't.


I didn't get this finished last night, so you're getting a weekend entry instead. It is now Sunday evening. Mr D went off this morning to run around with one of his friends, so I've had the day almost entirely to myself. I took the yoga video present over to my friend B, and we did it together so I could help her if she wanted. We hung out and talked, which we haven't done in ages. It was good. Then I came home and let the cats go play in the sunshine for a while.

Mr D called at around 4:30 to ask if we were set for dinner (we were), because he'd been invited to a game (D&D) for the evening and wanted to go. No problem, say I. We can make lasagna tomorrow. So I shut the cats back up in the house and went for a run in the woods (my usual part of the trail, not the same as yesterday).

I'm starting to wonder about myself with this exercise thing. I don't think I'm getting obsessed, but I need to keep an eye on it for a while. The Self challenge requires, at this point, four cardio workouts, two strength/stretch, and two abs workouts per week. That's eight. I have been alternating tae bo with yoga since the beginning of February, plus throwing in the occasional set with my hand weights and some ab-specific stuff or doing a different video (tai chi or pilates, once in a while). The yoga this morning, to me, wasn't really a workout. We did it all the way through, but she stopped and rewound a couple of times to watch it when she got confused. So it wasn't fifty straight minutes like I'm used to. But I still did the whole thing.

But yesterday's hike was not really a cardio event, to me. I got my exercise in, but I didn't get my heart rate up as high. And I have these awesome new running shoes that I wanted to try again. (Still not there, I have to go run on a flat surface instead of trails for these, I'm thinking I might need to get actual trail running shoes because these are definitely not right for that.) And I wanted to go back out to the woods.

So I went. 75 minutes of hiking yesterday, an hour of yoga this morning, and another hour of running around in the woods this afternoon. Is that excessive? I enjoyed it, I didn't push myself like crazy, and I don't feel sore. I don't intend to workout two or more hours a day from now on or anything, but there will probably be days where I do more than one workout. I'm trying to get myself up in the morning to do the back care yoga or some of the ab work before I go to work.

To me, the bottom line is that I feel good and I enjoy it when I'm doing it, and so far nothing is really suffering from lack of attention (that wasn't already, anyway) because I'm spending too much time working out. But I think I need to watch myself. I thought I had a pretty healthy attitude about all this. When I swam comptetitively, I worked out up to six hours a day. Maybe my body wants that kind of workout more often? I don't know, but as with everything all I can do is be aware of the potential problem and make sure it doesn't turn into that.

Off to read books. Have a good one. Work is going to be extremely busy this week, so I hope I'll have time to update but I might be just as frazzled as last week.

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