FishDreamer scribbles: It ain't over yet.

Wednesday, 25 February 2004

Maintaining

I'm having one of those times in my life when things seem to have come together and life appears to be fairly smooth. (Did you notice all the qualifiers in that sentence? Dang.) I feel good, the Challenge thing is going well so far, work has been busy and full of good challenges for me, and Mr D is doing quite well, thank you. And for once, I don't have that constant feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I'm still reading The Queen's Fool (by Philippa Gregory) and still think it's wonderful. It manages to paint Queen Mary (half-sister to Elizabeth I) in a good light, and even show in a sympathetic way how she came to be a cruel religious zealot. I don't agree with her reasons, but I can see what drove her to it.

Due to my increased interest in all things Elizabethan and Tudor, I wrote down a new title while we were at the Unnamed Monolithic Bookstore the other day (Mr D gets his obscure Linux magazines there). There's a new book by Patricia Finney called Gloriana's Torch, about Elizabeth I. I need to look into it more, I just managed to write it down and then we left. Anyone have any feedback on it?

Okay, so I looked it up and it's the third in a "series of related but stand-alone historical thrillers (Unicorn's Blood; Firedrake's Eye)" (credit to bn.com). It looks like it might be good, so maybe I'll go get the first book and see how it goes. I love historical fiction.

What else can I tell you about? What's going on? I don't want to talk politics, I don't want to talk religion, and I don't want to talk sex. I can tell you work is amazingly busy and I'm both exhilarated and a little apprehensive. But I feel fairly good about where I am now, and how things are shaping up. I'm starting to look beyond what I do everyday, to see where I might want to go from here. I'm also wondering how much longer I'm going to be able to keep my boss. It's pretty unheard of at my company to have one boss for so long. It's a combination of luck and compatibility, I think, but I am so incredibly spoiled. I am ruined for the standard kind of boss. I don't think he's looking to move on yet, he's only been in this position three months. But when he does, I don't imagine he'll get to keep me again the way he did this time.

I still love my job. I'm going to take a little moment here to celebrate that. The team is getting it sorted and things are happening so that we'll all be able to do what we need to and have good jobs plus a life. I'm good at what I do, beyond just the standard things. And I really like that.

Since I am finding myself to be rather boring this evening, and Mr D is upstairs reading and I want to go join him, I'm going to sign off. I feel like I'm dropping all kinds of conversation-starters onto the page and then running away without really talking about them, so I intend to read through some old stuff and try to pick up those lost threads.

I specifically want to talk about the body image of the fat girl thing that I started into on Monday. I have always felt big and not particularly lady-like, I think for more reasons than size alone. I don't fit any of the standard ideals of what a woman is, except for the physically having of the parts. I've always been fairly straightforward in how I deal with people...

You know, it's still not coming out right. I need to mull it over for a while. I clearly have something to say about it (which may or may not be different from all the amazing amounts of writing out there on the subject), but I'm still not sure what. Since I'm focusing rather heavily on my physical self for the next few months, it should simmer to the surface and become coherent at some point soon.

Oh, and I got my "Reading is Sexy" shirt. It is, as I feared, one of those tight shirts and the XY part of "sexy" is stretched a bit on my bust, but I still really like it. The girl in the design is not actually a young girl, as she kind of appears on the website. It's a matter of the style of art and her hair, I think, but she appears to be old enough to actually be thinking (or even reading!) about sex rather than pre-pubescent. But after some conversation with a friend about it, I realized that what I really like about the shirt is the attitude rather than the message. I would be happy with a shirt that said "Reading is Cool" instead. I still like it, I still plan to wear it when the weather gets nicer (although not, sadly, to work). Since I have no actual children of my own, I sometimes forget about the implications of messages like that. I will probably not get harrassed by anyone for wearing it, but I'd bet my niece would. If she ever were allowed to wear it, or even have it. Which she won't, not unless it's still available when she hits college age.

At which point it will be so out of style she won't want it, but nevermind that.

All right, good night and sleep well and go visit Chicklit some more. It's back up after some down time again. Poor Deborah! As if she didn't have enough to deal with.

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